Going through an old blog of mine from nearly 4 years ago. Young me was getting a taste of some Jesus! Continue reading…
I’ve struggled with this for a long time. I’m happy to say I’ve finally grasped onto an understanding in the past few days; GIVING things to God. Not thinking about a situation until you’re consumed. Not working yourself into such a cage of anxiety that it feels like you’ll never escape. No, He wants us to GIVE it to him. All the stress, the worry, anxiety, jealousy, comparison, fear. None of that belongs to us.
When I became a Christian, I was very new to the concept of Christ relationship. Growing up in an array of churches, I never understood what it was truly about. I never took hold of the true meaning or had anyone in my life that could explain it to me in a way that made sense. Even my own mother was blinded by a particular type of gospel. Forgive me for saying; the wrong kind. From my understanding, as long as I did good things and tried not to sin, I’d be taken care of. The idea of Jesus being a friend of mine was a foreign concept.
We’re not perfect. None of us. So, when we try to be perfect, we’re destined for failure. If there was any way to remove yourself from a life like that, the way I approached it took the cake.
Do you know how frustrating it is to live 24 years of your life under a warped idea of who the Lord is?
Having that mindset took me to some scary places. Mostly, OUT of the idea completely. I tested Buddhism, Rastafarian, occult practices and every other false belief you can think of. When your spirit man is starving, you’ll try anything to feed the source. Having been trained up in the correct way would’ve created a barrier that kept me from every year of being lost. I know more than anything now that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
If I hadn’t dabbled in things that lead me so far from God, I wouldn’t have clung to Him the way I do now. Had I not endured years of feeling helpless, I never would’ve understood the look in someones eyes when they are feeling the same way I was. My words would fall flat on ears that needed to hear the message that I now have.
So guys, life’s hard. I know this so much. One day I may even write an entire blog about my life thus far (its a doozy). Without a shadow of doubt I can tell you this: your past will lead you into the future God has for you. Every hour of abuse, every ounce of uncertainty will guide you into the arms of the One who knows you better than anyone else.
October 26, 2015